Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
