Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The power of my boobs compel you
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
