So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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