Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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