thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
be right there i have to get my cape
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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