If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
