Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize