yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
