I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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