I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so let's talk penis.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Your cock deserves a montage
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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