I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
