Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
