two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
