I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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