I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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