I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
