In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
