It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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