Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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