I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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