I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
