Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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