Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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