mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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