I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize