I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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