do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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