I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
