Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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