Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
