small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
