if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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