She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
