it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I understand Curling. That high.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
