What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
