And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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