It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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