just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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