So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
