the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When are your genitals available?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
