Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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