Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
