Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
