i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize