didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just cut my nipple shaving
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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