I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
