I can tuck mytits in my pants
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
