nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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