Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
