You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
