i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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