High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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