his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize