Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
