Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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