Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
