he shaved USA in his pubs
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
