Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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