And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
