hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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