I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
