put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
