omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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