Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
ugly people sure do ruin things
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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