so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
