Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
