wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Welp...herpes.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
